Three Years in Heaven.

Some may think we said our goodbyes three years ago and that was it … But in my eyes the life we knew suddenly stopped. It wasn’t just one wave of change that hit us and that was it. It was more like several waves that erased all the traces of the life we’d been living before.
We live in a world where we’re constantly expected to overcome everything so fast..Displaying failure and emotions is never an easy option.
But is it really the answer? Can we just throw away years of memories in few weeks time? Loss was one of the main triggers that got me writing and then later on sharing on WordPress.
In my opinion, those we love never leave us. The wave that hit us when my grandfather left us has given me a deeper understanding of creativity and life.

Many things come to mind on the memory of his departure and I’m not sure I can describe it all. So this is some of it...
The sparkle in my grandfather’s eyes departed long before he was physically gone but he held on as much as he could for a last birthday, last hugs and kisses. He was a gentle and sweet soul who was never demanding or tiring with his requests. He held on long enough to smile and then wave for us at the hospital when we thought we’d lose him. My heart grows daily knowing that’s the kind of strength I look up to and will never forget. That’s the kind of strength that writing continues to remind me of.

Gone on July 19th 2016 but never forgotten.

22 Comments Add yours

  1. I’m sorry for your loss.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Stay strong. He’s very proud of you! โค

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorry for your loss. May he forever rest in peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Manessah B. says:

    I’m sure he would be proud of you and how far you’ve come, sis. I think the strength he had has now found a home in you. You show great strength every day and what a beautiful way to honor his memory. I’m so sorry for his loss, but smile at the blessing you and your family received by getting a little more time to spend with him before he passed. You know I’m proud of you for writing this. ((big hugs)) ๐Ÿ˜˜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this sissy…It hasn’t been an easy road but I’m lucky that you’re by my side.xoxooxodBig hugs back.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Manessah B. says:

        You’re very welcome, sissy. xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

  5. My deep condolences and so sorry for your loss.

    (Hugs from me to you). ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you dear๐Ÿ’–

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are welcome. Remember if you need a friend to talk and vent I’m always there to listen.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s so sweet of you thank you. It’s been tough lately but I forced myself to let this out because I know it will just hurt more if I leave it bottled up inside. It will pass…
        I’m here for you too if you need to vent. Seems we have a lot in common when it comes to grieving. Taking it one tiny step at a time.๐Ÿค—

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You welcome.

        From experience, let everything out. I remember when I lost 2 important people in my life. It hit me yes, but it wasn’t enough because death happen around me that one whole month. I had a complete nervous breakdown a few months after that. A wave of depression and anxiety hit me hard. I cried everyday none stop. I was scared of being at home, and I try to watch comedy movies and I still cried uncontrollably.

        So, yes, let it out because trust me you don’t want to experience how I felt emotionally.

        We do have a lot in common with grieving.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yea I know all the sadness & anxiety always shows few months later. ๐Ÿ˜”
        Somehow sadness hit me badly 6 months after each loss…maybe it’s because of all the changes and seeing everyone around me moving forward.
        I’m sorry you had to endure anxiety and a nervous breakdown…When I’m anxious I stop being reasonable and the fact that I feel lonely scares me a lot.

        Did you lose two relatives in a short period of time or friends??

        Lately, I feel there is a lot that I can’t describe in words(maybe because of thr anniversary trigger) but I still try to because it’s better than nothing.
        Seems we’re on the same boat so take it easy.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I’ve noticed a pattern with certain people who have spoken about their loss and a few months after, it hits them hard. It’s an unexpected feeling and emotion that comes when we at least expected.

        In 2017, April 1 – my mother-in-law passed away at the hospital. My girlfriend watched he take her last breath. She had a heart attack. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

        3 weeks after, April 23rd 3:00am I watched my grandpa take his last breath. He suffered from alzheimer/dementia.

        The toll those deaths had an affect on my girlfriend and I, was unexpected and hurt us bad.

        And just certainly – last week, an old friend of mine passed away. He was 33 i believe.

        These anxiety’s hit anyone out of nowhere and its just unbearable.

        We are on the same boat and I feel for your loss and I cried yesterday knowing you lost someone important in your life. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

        Bless you so much my friend.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I think for the first month or two we’re in survival mode and then we begin to take out things from our life. The dead person’s belongings or we sell their car and it just hits deep that they’ll never need it again. Or that they’ll never use their cellphone again and you’ll never get a phonecall from them.

        I’ve always thought the 6 months mark was the hardest with all the 3 recent deaths. Not sure why.

        That anxiety you’re describing is called a grief wave when it hits you unexpectedly and you think you’re at point zero again?? But you’re actually not at point zero each time it’s different and a necessary process in the journey to heal.
        Grief wave is triggered by an event or something your body remembers. I went through it when I was grieving my late aunt who was my best friend years ago. I wrote a lot during that time and it was healing.

        I’m so sorry for your losses. My grandpa had Parkinson โ™ฅ He was so delicate towards the end, it was heartbreaking. I’m here if you ever want to talk, I understand the process so well.
        I’ll keep both you and your girlfriend in my prayers.
        Consecutive losses are the hardest and you start fearing for the people around you. I get the gloomiest thoughts when that grief wave hits because it hits triple sometimes. I’m glad someone understands.
        Thank you so much for all the sweetness and support xoxoxo
        Bless you and take care of yourself.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. We’re both going through the same emotional feeling of anxiety and the struggles that come with it.

        I’m so sorry for your loss. Parkinsons? Oh my…. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

        You are welcome…will both be there for each other my friend. Friendships are always important.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. So true. Thank you for this friendship.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. You are welcome my friend. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.