Self-Esteem issues.

I just wanted to share two incidents that have happened at my photography studio in the past month which have left me speechless.
Few weeks ago, a lady was objecting over her 5 year old daughter’s photos. According to her the little girl’s ears were sticking out. I insisted that the ears were fine while the mother kept insisting they were sticking out.
The one thing that broke my heart the most was when I saw the little girl clutching her ears…

Today, same scenario happened with a teen and it didn’t matter how many times I took her photo because the mother would still object. It really got me wondering about the message these mothers are instilling in their daughters.

I couldn’t help but wonder the kind of damage they’re doing by addressing them like this in front of ME….A complete stranger.

Here are some of the comments that made my skin crawl:

“Can you remove facial hair off her face?”
“Fix her hairline on Photoshop!”

“She doesn’t look good when she smiles.”
“Can you blur some of her ear? It’s sticking out.”
“Delete some of her ear on Photoshop.”
“Can you Photoshop her face? It’s not smooth.”
“Shall I apply more mascara on her eyelashes?”
“Does she need lipstick?”
“Her eyebrows aren’t right…Why?”

“She has a droopy eye…can it be fixed on Photoshop?”
“Her hair is too frizzy. Can it be fixed on Photoshop?”
“Why are her lips crooked? Can they be fixed on Photoshop?”

Of course today I was more prepared to defend the teenager. I kept complementing every single detail her mother was complaining about, while finding ways to make her smile and relax.
I chose the photos myself to save the girl from harsh criticism and when the mother objected. I smiled and told her, “Your daughter is beautiful…No Photoshop needed.”
It also made her older sisters wink at me and grin widely.

The main message in these two situations :
Photoshop can’t erase future self-esteem issues.


19 Comments Add yours

  1. Manessah B. says:

    I think that’s cruel that their own mothers can’t look at them and see a beautiful child. Photoshop is a great tool for ENHANCING beauty and creating amazing artwork. I always say if someone is going to use that, it shouldn’t alter someone until they are totally unrecognizable. It takes away from what makes that person unique. I feel so sorry for those girls and those moms have no idea the scars they are leaving internally in their daughters. You already know how I feel on this topic, because I spent a long time having to deprogram my mind to stop seeing something ugly in the mirror. People can really be cruel, especially family. Good for you, sis, for standing up for what you believe. Those girls needed that support and encouragement.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. See you’re a proof ofwhy I needed to blog this…
      I have same issues Twinny!

      I could have been meaner because the lady kept interrupting my work but her older teens were watching and having a kick out of it laughing.😂 I even laughed it off at the end saying “Your daughter is gorgeous…her photos are great no need to reshoot”😏

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Manessah B. says:

    It really does something to a person when they are told, not only by strangers but their own family, that something is “wrong” with them. You remember I told you about how I was always body shamed coming up. I was always “too skinny”. Then when I gained some weight I was either “pregnant” or sick. You can’t win for losing with some people. So the last place you need to hear that negativity is from your own mother.

    You’re more patient than I am. I don’t think I could’ve tolerated that lady interrupting my flow like that. I probably would’ve asked her “Who’s holding the camera?” 😏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was joking and told the girl if your mum keeps interrupting and making you nervous I’m gona have to ask her to go wait upstairs🤣🤣🤣

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Manessah B. says:

        LOL!! 🤣🤣🤣
        More like “jokingly-serious”. I’m sure that would’ve made your job a lot easier.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. When she knew I chose the photo she got so mad!! A priest walked in and she couldn’t rant so much…😂😂She said I tolerated your jokes…In my head I was like poor kids have to tolerate you🤣
        She wanted a reshoot if she didn’t like any of the photos and I didn’t have time or patience for that.😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Manessah B. says:

        Right!? 🤣
        Since she’s such an expert on photography, she should by her own camera, open up her own studio and take her own pictures. That way she won’t be embarrassing her daughter in public places. Something she could think about… Lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. The mum.of the 5 year old who wanted her ear deleted is a photographer🤣🤣

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Manessah B. says:

        🤦‍♀️ Stick a fork in me… I’m DONE.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Bahahhha and she wanted to make the kid wear black🤪🤷‍♀️🙈

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Manessah B. says:

        LMAO!!! 🤣🤣🤣
        Now that’s just wrong! hahahahaha!!


      8. I have a huge fork here ready…😏

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Manessah B. says:

        I bet you do, sis! hahahaha!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This is messed up and really sad. Majority of mothers today and before.
    Have this obsession with celebrities that they want to look like them
    and make their daughters pressure them into looking like a star.

    Mother’s should not peer-pressure their kids into looking
    like an imitation they don’t want to.

    I’m so sorry you had to experience this. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was humiliating to watch and I just wanted to cut that lady off before she continued making her daughter feel awkward in front of me.
      The mother got mad at me because I chose the photo and developed it without her making her fiftth or sixth round of criticism on them. It was a beautiful photo though. IF there was something wrong with it I would have insisted on repeating them.
      The girl was very sweet and frustrated from all the orders.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So sorry you witness this horrible ordeal.

        Mother’s are frustrating and demand so much. Some not all.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. HarleyQ2 says:

    I can guarantee that years later that teenager will still remember the kind words you said. Unfortunately, children are products of their family life. Constant criticism will lead to self-deprecation and other issues.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I got a customer today who was the total opposite with her 12 year old. It made me happy😀

      Liked by 1 person

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