Anger And Grief.

When I lost a few relatives at the beginning of the year I was so angry at everything and everyone around me that it scared me. I was scared to embrace the anger even though it’s a part of the grieving process, I was terrified to even attend the funeral of my uncle’s wife. But it passed because I had no ill intentions towards the people around me. I was just angry at life and the fact that we had to be in this position so many times in a row.

When my grandmother passed away I made excuses for the family for being angry because I’ve experienced it before. I love my cousins, so I tried to let it pass, but it was more than just anger there were old agendas being pushed in our direction.

Today it went as far as being extremely toxic. So I decided to cut all communication with this shocking behavior. It’s heartbreaking to cut loved ones out of our lives, and I hoped it wouldn’t come to this. I’ve given tons of chances for them to turn back and show a little empathy. Or apologize for the irrational behavior, but it’s been more than a month and they keep going in circles.

Today, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I need to find peace. So I can’t spend this delicate time of my life explaining myself to people who simply don’t want to understand.

ยฉZeinaA.G

14 Comments Add yours

  1. Great choice. I too tired of carrying other people resentment around just to have a relationship with them in hopes they would come forth and remove these unwanted weights and bury them once and for all, when they didn’t, I fired myself as their subjugated worker and took on the more important role of being just me. ๐Ÿ™‚ You’ll get there my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If we keep carrying their resentment and pretending everything’s okay they won’t notice what they did wrong. They’ll just keep trying to attack.
      Hoping to get there soon and to be free. Writing it here is the first tiny role of being just me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well said- and don’t forget, some do know what they’ve done but still want to punish..you. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You’ve read my mind and situation perfectly …lol.. Thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You’re welcome and my pleasure.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’

        Like

      5. Best thing to do is rise above it and stop reacting.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. That’s right. Don’t answer the doorbell because someone wants your attention but really want to hurt you more. Tell them to send a letter and you’ll read it when you’re ready to get to it. Every time you answer the door, the clock of moving on restarts.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘Hoping I would be emotionally ready for all this soon. I’m going to screenshot your comment.๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ช

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Good idea.. It takes time, don’t rush it.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Thank you, I won’t.๐Ÿ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome.

        Like

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