Just overnight, every time I passed through places my late grandmother loved, the memory reel in my mind would start working. Whenever I drive by where our old Studio was I catch a glimpse of her sitting on the chair waiting for my cousins to arrive from school. It’s so vivid I even remember how different the streets and the pavements were. I can still remember her meeting them at the school bus and showering them with kisses. She’d ask about their day. Sun or rain my grandmother always sat there waiting even when she was tired.
There’s this deep heaviness that hasn’t left me ever since these memories began returning. So I’m not shaking it off, I’m learning to embrace it and let it out gently through my writing. Or by simply mentioning it to other family members.
I know a lot of people go through this, especially during the first holidays without a loved one. I thought I was handling things well and then December rolled by. To be honest I didn’t even feel like mentioning it here but I believe writing is a wonderful catharsis.
I know we can feel more vulnerable as people get festive and start decorating. So I hope this helps anyone going through grief.
Do you ever get hit by a grief wave like that? Would love to hear from you.