Do you ever feel like you’re choking and you have no idea what it is?

You’re trying so hard not to make a mistake or to say anything that would possibly offend your loved ones. You want to see them smile and bond with them, but they make it nearly impossible. There’s always something off with them. You’re constantly weighing your words around them because you’re certain you would be criticized. Besides they’re talking about you behind your back.

But how far can you really go for them? How far can you reach out to them without losing who you are?
In the back of your mind, you know what it is. We always seem to know what’s draining us. We ignore the bad in them because we want them in our lives.

Things are okay for a while, but then they go too far.
That’s when it hits you…You need to let go. Their issues were never yours to fix.

So you finally let go, and as painful as it seems a fresh breath of air enters your lungs. You feel like you’re going to cry…That’s okay too because tears are a sign that you’ve been reborn.

11 Comments Add yours

  1. Jokerswild says:

    If they’re talking behind your back, they’re probably back there for a reason lovely. Family always feel obligated to a free pass because they’re family but those are the ones that hurt us the most. Sometimes we have to let that anchor go to get above water, doesn’t mean we don’t love them…it simply means we have to love ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true! I’ve noticed that they attack before you question their intentions.

      After some distance I’ve noticed that I was always weighing my words around them and it made me feel worthless… So I guess this separation was meant to be.

      Good news is that it gets easier and I love the peace of mind.😊

      Hope you’re doing well & staying safe!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jokerswild says:

        That piece of mind is what actually gives you the power to think more clearly without the guilty feelings interfering in your judgment. Distance is important is gaining strength and if they truly see what they’re doing, they’ll come to you, if not then severance was best.
        I am doing well lovely, I hope you’re doing great and staying safe too.😊🌹

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Doing well..Are you still in lockdown?? I’ve been home since Jan.6th…May be going a little crazy😂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Jokerswild says:

        No lockdown lovely except by choice at times, I still go out to shop and work….boring stuff😊. Other than that, I too have been at home.
        Home since Jan 6th huh, wow…that could be a little cabin feverish but crazy is good lovely because at least you’re experiencing other emotions rather than feeling numb.😉😁. Always a bright side. I’m glad you’re doing well and writing because that will level out the sanity. As long as you keep that smile lovely, you’ll have something to smile about.😉

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Thank you!! It’s good to feel we’re not alone during these times. I hope this will end soon and we can return to normal life. Are you still working on that writing project? I really hope you are 😀
        Glad you’re able to go out to work and shop. It sounds boring until you can’t do either of them LOL…Here we’re not allowed! Even supermarkets are closed, they deliver. They’re allowed to open starting today but we need permission to get there.
        I never noticed how going to work gives us something to wake up to everyday and I’ve missed it a lot.

        The good part which levels out the insanity is that I feel better overall about everything that has happened since September. If I write some stuff out here it’s just all the past processing itself out.

        I have been very productive in my writing :D.
        I’ve fixed 3 episodes of my scripts while doing Shonda Rhimes’s Masterclass.

        I went back to submitting. I have around 9 submissions since January 6th. Six of them are still active.

        I have until April to submit short stories for kids. I’ve written two very short ones in one day and already submitted. I think I’ll be writing more. I never imagined that writing for kids would be this fun and cute.

        Those R.L Stine lessons really paid off!

        Stay safe over there 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Jokerswild says:

        True lovely, work and shopping can be an adventure when some can’t leave the house at all. I hope it does get back to normalcy soon to the point where you are able to get outside and see the inspirations that so many take for granted. At least they are delivering your groceries, the markets can be crazy!
        You definitely are seeing the bright side of things and focusing on writing and things that keeps you happy instead of letting lockdown get you down, and for that you are an amazingly positive thinker lovely. You’re getting out a lot of submissions and that is awesome!!! I’m happy for you and I know with your determination, confidence and talent your submissions will get somewhere soon, you’re already a winner.❤️
        Writing children’s stories can be enjoyable and you having that little goddaughter that adores you so much, your thoughts probably reflect on her when it comes to material to write about.
        And yes, the Goosebumps stories are something else to read😉

        Keep smiling, writing and staying positive.🌹

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Thank you🙏 I got an encouraging rejection that got me submitting again. An editor described my story as having a lot of heart and feelings. So I just went for more submissions.

        I’ve written a short story for Junior High kids and another for middle schoolers. First time I use a boy’s P.O.V too
        (Goosebumps style but it had to be short)
        Yea, your right😁 Thinking of one for my goddaughter’s age.

        Thanks for the encouragement. I really appreciate it🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Jokerswild says:

        I like that encouraging rejection statement, that’s simply a positive lesson lovely. Opinions are corrections and those are motivations. Keep at it😉😊🌹🙏🏾

        Liked by 1 person

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